Out of the year one of the things I look forward to is when Davin and I go out on the road. These gigs could be down south or out west and always require a lot of driving and this one was no different.
Our drive to the gig is more is more like an hours long argument as that’s what brothers do. We will break up the argument into several sections, we usually start with how much the other guy acts stink, we then move on to the comedy business, then politics, theradio business, catching up on our comedy buddies , and then usually finish up on how each other stink as human beings.
This trip was different, fun but different. On my end The radio show was a big factor as doing pre production for the I heart show and having to prepare for the regular show the night before a long road trip resulted in little time to pack and less time to sleep.
On Davin’s end he was battling a nasty cold that left him with no voice so much so if we weren’t meeting to go on the road next day the radio show would have been canceled that night.
Picture yourself so sick that you would have no problem calling in sick in a normal day job, but comedy is not a normal job and you can’t cancel a tour. So as sick as he was and with no voice we drive eleven hours to Battle Creek Michigan.
On this drive one of the things that was different, is we did not play two of our car radio games. The first one is the band and song game, you have to pick a band and each time that band is played you get a point , you then pick any bands song and if that song plays you get three points.
Another game that we play in the car is one that we said if ever had a radio show we would use and we do, is “God or lover” a song plays usually a country song, and you have to guess if the song is about god or a lover.
Even though we did not play any games so Davin would not talk to conserve his voice(silver lining) we did fight occasionally about his taste in music, we have to listen to a Celine Dion song but mean while when myfavorite Black Sabbath song comes on he turns the dial !REALLY!.
Our first stop was Fire keepers Casino in Battle Creek Michigan. This was a special gig for us as we were meeting in person for the first time one of our biggest fans and our fourth mike in the chat room Trucker Tom Frey. Tom is a real good dude and my only regret was Pip was not with us as it would have been cool to have all four of us together.
Now as much as it was good to see Tom, we had a score to settle with him as well. On Davin’s Den we have games and challenges that sometimes have a food or drink punishment involved, in my case it was “The Fat Horse Challenge”. In Tom’s case he made a bet with Davin that he could not get a video chat with our scammer Belinda.
Davin got the video chat and Tom had to pay up, his punishment was two shots of hot sauce with a two minute break in between so he could have a sip of a beer. We have the whole thing on our video page, check it out as you can see the delight on my face as it was revenge for Tom putting time limits on the fat Horse Challenge which eventually had me go down in defeat.
Tom was a trooper and took his punishment like a man, it was so cool to meet and hang with him.
Now for the comedy show, the first show was great and I nailed my set, Davin then goes up and it is apparent that his voice is straining.
Davin and I bust each other’s balls and fight and argue, but we are close friends and I felt awful and concerned for him, so much so that I commented to Tom that he was witnessing in person the rare moment that I have concern and compassion for him. As soon as I said that Davin comments to the audience that the reason his voice is all rough and croaky is because he blew me on the way to the show. After that comment I hoped his larynx would shoot out of his mouth like a Coo Coo clock.
The second show crowd was not buying into me, and as my watch or digital recorder did not set I had to pull teeth and wonder how long I was on stage. Davin or “Old Croak Throat” got up and had a great set, if I knew that’s what it took I would have gargled with sand.
Next up was a six hour ride to the Kewadin casino in Sault Ste Marie, Michigan, which is French for way fucking up there, nice place but everyone up there was in there nineties.
I told Davin I wanted to walk in the casino room dressed as the grim reaper and start telling people “you want to gamble? I’m gonna start calling off random names and were gonna do a conga line into eternity”.
We have a buffet dinner before the show which looked like a diner break in the movie Cocoon. Davin had the audacity to leave the buffet with three cookies and the codger at the counter started to berate him that he could not leave with them. I immediately told Grandpa that I was hiding gravy in my draws and was going to make break for it.
The show that night went well, the audience was mostly youngins from twenty to sixty. The only fly in the ointment was the Emcee, Emcees on the road tend to stink and this one was no different, it was a local radio DJ who was about as entertaining as a colonoscopy.
He then gave me an into,, I’ll put it to this way, Saddam Hussein was dragged in front of the tribunal with a better one.
Next was a six plus hour ride to Philips Wisconsin where on the way we almost hit a deer. A deer has a pea brain, but the look on his face as he was in the middle of traffic he knew he fucked up. He was not hit or hurt but you know he had to dunk his ass in a stream to wash all the shit off of his tail.
The gig in Philips was one of the most fun shows I ever had. Before the show the owners were presented and award for their work in the Wounded Warriors incentive. In addition there were three Purple Heart recipients in the audience. I have never been so proud and honored to perform in front of an audience as I was that night. Davin and I both knocked it out of the park and the show was a big success.
Before the show a women came up and told Davin she would like him to meet her daughter and take her back to the hotel, shocking enough the daughter was a knock out and a very sweet girl. Even though Davin is a creep, he is a good loving loyal husband and was a gentleman to her that night. As for me, I as was rip roaring drunk and showing Wisconsin how alcohol abuse and Karaoke is done at the Compound.
The last night of the tour was in Marinette Wisconsin. We meet the owner of the club who was an attractive looking cougar of a women who was highly inebriated as well, think of Dean Wormer’s Wife from Animal house.
The show went off without a hitch, until a women fell through her chair and Davin had to pull her out.
The audience was really nice, so much so a patron gave me some candy to give to Davin to ease his throat. I was about to give the candy to Davin when I read the label and it statedit was medicinal Marijuana candy from Canada, I kept it instead as I’m not about to waste it on stupid, No my Brother you got to get your own.
We go to get paid and we have to wait because a bottle fell off an over head rack and hit a Bar tender in the head. As we were watching, the drunken owner is trying to figure out what to do. If the Bar Rescue guy was outside he would run in and start yelling at everyone and shut the whole place down.
The next day was a fifteen hour run back to Davin’s and then a total of seventeen hour trip for me once I got back to Long Island.
I am looking forward to the next Davin’s den tour as Davin and I head to Nevada and points out west in February and I will keep you posted.